We all crave more intimacy and connection in our relationship at times. This is especially true as your relationship matures and being together becomes more commonplace. The longer you are together, the more likely it is that jobs, kids, social engagements, or even planning something wonderful like your wedding, will start to eat up more and more of your time.
It’s really easy for a relationship, even a good relationship, to become a habit. Before long, intimacy and connection are taking a backseat, and you find yourself missing what it was like when you were first together. Staying up all night talking, spending hours just being together those romantic times when you felt extra close don’t have to fade as your relationship matures. What’s the best way to create more intimacy and connection? Leverage your strengths, and creating intimacy will be easier and more fun for both of you.
Put Your Skills To Use In Creating Intimacy
You know when you’re searching for the perfect job, and they (they being business blogs, advisors, maybe even your colleagues) talk about transferable skills? Perhaps you want to transition to teaching from accountancy, so you flag up your ability to explain accounting concepts easily as a transferable skill (bear with me, it will all make sense in a moment.) You can apply this principle to creating intimacy, too:
- If you’re a great cook, try cooking a romantic meal
- If you give a wonderful massage, offer a head to toe massage to your partner
- If you’re a talented singer, record yourself singing one of their favorite songs
- If you’re artistically inclined, create a gift for them
The things you’re good at can double as powerful intimacy-boosting tools. When you look for ways to create intimacy that match your own strengths and skills, it becomes easier and more fun for you to create intimacy with your partner. You’ll have more enthusiasm and feel more comfortable doing it, and your partner will love the results.
Know What Kind Of Intimacy You’re Best At
We all excel at different kinds of intimacy. Some of us feel most intimate when connected through touch. Others like shared experiences, or quiet time spent talking. There’s a certain amount of self-knowledge involved in this. Take some time to get to know what works for you. Ask yourself when you feel most connected to your partner.
Now take that knowledge and use it to build intimacy with them. Use your strengths to create experiences that bring you closer together, or to devise ways of boosting your connection. Use your own intimacy style to generate ideas for how you can become more connected, whether through learning new things together, going on adventures, or even playing fun, light-hearted, getting to know you games.
It’s a good idea to check out what kind of intimacy your partner is best at, too. Notice what they particularly enjoy, what activities they suggest, and what they reminisce about. Finding things to do that speak to both of you will create a close, joyful experience.
Get To Know Your Own Love Language
We all have different love languages. For some people it’s touching, for others it might be words of encouragement, or acts of service. Get to know your own love language and you’ll understand why certain things make you feel closer to your partner. If your love language is touching, you’ll feel extra connected when they hug you. If it’s acts of service, you’ll feel closer when they help you with a task.
Understanding your love language helps you see why certain things feel especially intimate to you.
It’s also a good idea to learn your partners love language. That way, you’ll know how best to create intimate moments with them, and you’ll understand the ways in which they’re trying to build intimacy with you.
For example, if your love language is touch but theirs is words of encouragement, you might not immediately respond to them telling you how much they love and appreciate you. But if you understand their love language, you’ll know that their words are their way of creating intimacy and closeness with you.
Creating intimacy by leveraging your strengths is a powerful way to make the most of your relationship and bring you and your partner closer together than ever before.
Author Bio:-Rachel Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.
